Dr. Randy Pausch gets my first award of being a great dad even though he is not here to still bless the world.  He left us with a lot of wisdom that was actually left for his children in his “Last Lecture.”   My prayers go out to his family and to him.   This is one of the most touching videos ever made.  He states how to say I am sorry at 7 minutes 40 seconds.  Pay close attention.    If you have not seen the video, I suggest watching the whole video.  You may even shed a tear.

Dr. Randy Pausch states there are 3 steps to apologize.

1. I am sorry.
2. It was my fault
3. How do I make it right “that is how I can tell sincerity”

Even before I saw this video, this is how I have apologized.  I learned this from other people who know how to apologize because they have been sincere.

This is how the president of the United States should apologize.  I am sorry for stating the comment that the police officers acted stupidly as I did not know all of the facts.  It is my fault that my comments made things worse between the cultures of our society.  I am going to make this right by knowing the facts before I speak and listen to both sides of the story.  As the president, I should not comment like this.  I am sorry to the officer as I made things worse for him.   I am sorry to the American people, as I have disappointed many.  Again, I will not make a comment like this again.

This blog is now a teachable moment to all  parents on how to apologize.  I hope it is a teachable blog to the president of the United States who is, also, a dad.  It is important to model your children the 3 simple step to say I am sorry so they grow up and learn how to apologize.   Say I am sorry properly to your wife, children and everyone you do wrong to.

If you would like to donate to a great dad’s (Randy Pausch) cause. you may so here Randy Pausch Foundation

Real Dad Blog Man’s Version:  Learn how to apologize.  Use the 3 simple steps above.  Real dads and real new dads can and will apologize.  Randy Pausch should be remembered as a great dad.

Rylan getting into the garbage. The scratch in the wall is from the dog. The scratch has now been fixed

Before I get into how to tell your kid “no”, I have over 8 years of experience of telling high school students “no”. They are high school students who have heard “no” their whole life but someway, somehow, got what they wanted. My job is to get them to accept the word “no”. It is hard because they never understood it from the get go. I sure have my tricks though.

Telling your kids no is one of the easiest things to do in the world. You just have to make it easy. It can be cute when you have a little one and they are trying to get into something they shouldn’t. You may even want to laugh about it. It is also hard to tell your kids “no” when the tears start because they want to play with their friends but you have somewhere important to go like Church or they want the next hot Xbox game that they are a little too young for. Just get use to saying “no” and start the no’s early.

Rylan is only 9 months old and we are already starting to tell him “no”. Starting this young helps them understand that they need to listen to their parents and there are certain things they cannot do. In the video below, Rylan is getting into the garbage can. Yes, I said it all cute and stuff because it breaks my heart to tell him sternly, telling him “no”, sure seemed to work. The reason it did work is he has been trying to get into the garbage on his walker for the last few weeks. We tell him “no” once, if he doesn’t listen, we tell him again and redirect him. We have been doing this with the garbage. Telling him twice in the video worked. The most important thing is we followed through with the “no”. Since he has been rolling around he has been getting into wires and other things he shouldn’t be getting into. We have been telling him “no” with this, and he stops and goes the other way. He is only 9 months old and understand the word “no”. He is still the happiest baby alive!

We were at Target the other day and a little girl was in the Barbie section and really wanted a Barbie. Of course, the mom just let her scream, and then started yelling at her to stop. Of course, she kept on screaming because the mother had no follow through and the girl is probably used to her yelling. In the future, this little girl will not be so little. She will be in her teens and getting what she wants.

How would I handle this situation? I would have told her that she cannot have a Barbie and would have told her why she cannot. One reason is that we may not have the money to buy the Barbie right now and tell her how she can earn it. Telling your child why helps them think about why they cannot have something or do something so you do not always have to explain yourself in the future. If she would have kept on crying, the next step is to redirect her behavior. The mother could have told her we are leaving this isle and going directly home or that we are going to go directly home now since we are not acting store appropriate. Of course you will have to explain what is store appropriate is. Then, you have to follow through.

I have given examples of how to tell your child “no”. Overall, you can tell your child “no” in 4 simples steps.

1. Tell your child no.
2. Tell your child why.
3. If they do not quit doing the behavior, redirect the behavior.
4. Follow through on everything, always!

Also make sure to tell your child “yes” a lot more than “no”. Telling your child “no” from the start will make alot less no’s in the future.