Dad, I am going to be one expensive child!

A couple of days ago, I read the below article via a Yahoo News Feed.  It is going to cost $221,000 to raise just one child!  My mind exploded.  I was like “I will spend that much just on Rylan!  New Dads, you better watch out!”

I know diapers are expensive, but come on!  This article does need to go into more detail. I did the kind service for all the new dads out there and pulled out some numbers.  After the below article, I broke it down 7 possible expenses to get your mind thinking of where could all your hard earn money go to.

You may see the below story  here or at Yahoo! 

Middle-income family spends $221,000 to raise baby
By BETSY TAYLOR, Associated Press Writer Betsy Taylor, Associated Press Writer – Tue Aug 4, 4:50 pm ET

ST. LOUIS – It’s no secret that raising children can be expensive, but how about nearly a quarter of a million dollars expensive?

A government report released Tuesday says a middle-income family with a child born last year will spend about $221,000 raising that child through age 17.

The report by the USDA’s Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion identified housing as the largest single expense, followed by food and child care/education costs. The $221,000 in expenses rises to about $292,000 when adjusted for inflation.

USDA economist Mark Lino, who co-authored the report with Andrea Carlson, often hears people say children cost a lot when the annual findings are issued.

“I tell them children also have many benefits, so you have to keep that in mind,” he said.

Families with more income spend more money on child-related costs, the report said. A two-parent family that earns less than $57,000 annually will spend about $160,000 on a child from birth through high school. Those with an income between $57,000 and $99,000 spend about $221,000 and those with higher incomes are expected to spend roughly $367,000 through age 17.

Most single-parent households in the U.S. make less than $57,000 and are expected to spend about 7 percent less on child-rearing costs compared to two-parent households in that same income group, according to the report.

Costs of raising a child are highest in the urban northeast and lowest in the urban south and rural areas.

The USDA report helps courts and states determine child-support guidelines and foster care payments. It does not address costs specifically related to childbearing and paying for college.

One of the largest changes over time has been the increase in costs related to care for young children.

The report was first issued in 1960, when such costs were largely negligible, but with more working families turning to outside help with child care, it has grown to be a significant expense for many families. The report does not give total costs related to early child care.

A mother of three, Raben Andrews of St. Louis, said the government figures sounded right to her. “Well, that’s not half of it,” joked the 42-year-old public school teacher. “I still have to put the little buggers through college.”

The Real Dad Blog breakdowns the cost of one child  (Hoping that this child is breastfed as a baby.  Formula fed babies are even more expensive.)

1. Diapers:  $40 per month for about 3 years.  $1440 in those three years
2. Clothing:  $500 per year (some people more some people less)  By the age of 17, $8500 on clothing.  I think that is on the cheap end!
3. Medical Insurance: about $200 a month (depending on the job), $2,400, $48,000 for 17 tears,
4. Food:  As a kid, about $40 a week or about $21,000 to the age of ten, teenage boys about $75 a week or $27,000 for the teenage years.  Those teenagers can eat!
5. Celebrations: (Birthday and Christmas) About $200 a year or 3400 for 17 years. That is on the cheap end.
6. Sports:  Depending on the sports about another $200 a year and more when they are older.  $3400 for their adolescent lifetime.
7. Miscellaneous money (like going out to eat, them going out with friends, dad taking the kid out for fun): $200 a month or $48,000 a year.
8. Daycare:  About $150 (more as an infant and less as they age) a week for 10 years or $78000 for the whole 10 years.

These are expenses that a parent should expect.  Some moms and dads do not need daycare.  That is a huge savings.  With all these estimated numbers added up, that is almost $240,000 being spent on just one child for their first 17 years.

I love numbers.   If you take that $240,000 and break that down to each year, that is $14,100 that is spend on your child each year.  If a person did not have that child and invested that money $14,100 each year and get about a 7% return on it, you would have a little more than $500,000.  This would then turn into $3.8 million after 30 years if you kept it in to grow.  You could be $3.8 million dollars richer!

With all these dollar signs flashing in front of you and all the cost making you go insane just remember, your child is priceless.  No matter what financial situation you are in, the best you can do is to teach your child financial responsibility and have the fortitude to pull through when times are tough.   Parents are the best role models a child can have.  They need to see responsible parents who can handle and communicate about financial matters.

For some great parental financial advice please go to Frugal Dad.  His blog has frugally sound advice.  His posts can help make the $240,000 be much less.  I have learned a thing or two about being frugal from life experience and Frugal Dad.  Who knows, he could help make it seem like you have $3.8 million.  Well, your child should make you feel richer than that!

Real Dad Blog Version:  Raising a child is crazy expensive.  It doesn’t matter how much it cost because raising a child is priceless.

Dr. Randy Pausch gets my first award of being a great dad even though he is not here to still bless the world.  He left us with a lot of wisdom that was actually left for his children in his “Last Lecture.”   My prayers go out to his family and to him.   This is one of the most touching videos ever made.  He states how to say I am sorry at 7 minutes 40 seconds.  Pay close attention.    If you have not seen the video, I suggest watching the whole video.  You may even shed a tear.

Dr. Randy Pausch states there are 3 steps to apologize.

1. I am sorry.
2. It was my fault
3. How do I make it right “that is how I can tell sincerity”

Even before I saw this video, this is how I have apologized.  I learned this from other people who know how to apologize because they have been sincere.

This is how the president of the United States should apologize.  I am sorry for stating the comment that the police officers acted stupidly as I did not know all of the facts.  It is my fault that my comments made things worse between the cultures of our society.  I am going to make this right by knowing the facts before I speak and listen to both sides of the story.  As the president, I should not comment like this.  I am sorry to the officer as I made things worse for him.   I am sorry to the American people, as I have disappointed many.  Again, I will not make a comment like this again.

This blog is now a teachable moment to all  parents on how to apologize.  I hope it is a teachable blog to the president of the United States who is, also, a dad.  It is important to model your children the 3 simple step to say I am sorry so they grow up and learn how to apologize.   Say I am sorry properly to your wife, children and everyone you do wrong to.

If you would like to donate to a great dad’s (Randy Pausch) cause. you may so here Randy Pausch Foundation

Real Dad Blog Man’s Version:  Learn how to apologize.  Use the 3 simple steps above.  Real dads and real new dads can and will apologize.  Randy Pausch should be remembered as a great dad.

Rylan Doing Something Other Than Peeing On Dad

It was bath night for Rylan, as it is every couple of days.  Melissa usually gives baths to Rylan and she enjoys giving him baths.  Tonight she wanted me to help for “moral support.”  I know there was something else behind this.  This “moral support” I gave her came at a price.  The price was getting peed on. I have been peed on before but tonight was different.

Here is the story.  I was handling customer service issues on the laptop.  She asked me to come and help with Rylan’s bath.  Melissa wanted some moral support even though she did not need me.  I was happy to help.   I put Rylan on his changing table and got him almost in the buck.  All he had on was his diaper.  I checked under his little bum to see if he pooped.  I thought I dodged the bullet.  Rylan had another bullet ready for me.  I picked him up as Melissa just finished filling up the tub.  I “daddy zoomed” him the bathroom excitingly saying, “bath time!” to him.  I held him up facing at me with my hands holding him between his armpits as Melissa took off his diaper.  As soon as the diaper came off, the pee stream came at me like the Bob peeing out the fire in Strange Brew.  Ahhhhhhhh!!!!! I screamed like a little girl.  I had a wet spot on me like I peed my pants.  Unfortunately I was not smart enough to take a picture of this.   And hopefully, I am smart enough not to let it happen again.

Should I be mad at Melissa for her having the nerve to tell her million friends on Facebook?  I guess I was due for the fart comment in New Dad Enjoyment – The Blow Fart, from a couple of dad blogs ago.

New Dads, please take this as a suggestion.  Never, ever take off the diaper with your baby facing at you, especially if you have a boy.  It could make you scream like a girl.  My excuse for facing Rylan at me is it was better than facing him at Melissa.  It took one for the team.  Lessons to learn from being a new parent.

Real Dad Blog version:  I got peed on again.  Thanks Rylan for peeing on dad!  This time at bath time.  I hope I learned my lesson, as I should have the other times.

On October 16^th, 2008, my wife told me she was feeling funny. We were getting ready to go to Buffalo Wild Wings for an afternoon lunch with the same friend that told her to do the moon dance. Melissa really wanted to go to Buffalo Wild Wings because it was spicy and she loves boneless wings. I was lucky because I had the day off of work and Melissa was home because she was not working at the time.  The day was a Thursday.

After feeling a little funny, Melissa said we were “OK” to go.  So, she got in the car and I was about to get in the car too.  Then, she told me she wasn’t feeling the best and her stomach was tightening up.  I called my friend and said that I do not think we can meet for lunch because Melissa is not feeling right.  Melissa was disappointed because she really wanted wings.  It is hard to keep a pregnant woman away from they really want! (A few months later we finally went to lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings)

I told her that she should count the time between her contractions.   She started and then I took over keeping time.  We counted the contractions.  They were a little more than a minute and a half apart.  We called the doctor and they told us to get to the hospital.  Melissa and I grabbed our bags and left.

Everything was going as planned.  Melissa was having the baby on my day off and it was the end of my soccer-coaching season.  Perfect!  She listened to my suggestion to have the baby when I wanted it!  I couldn’t ask for a better wife.

We got to the hospital after every bump on the road felt like a death trap to Melissa.  They told us to stay because she was having the baby.  This was after the receptionist stated, you don’t think you are having the baby today do you? FYI.. Things not to say to a pregnant woman.

We got our own delivery room and Melissa, not able to handle pain very well, got the epidural right away.  She was also progressing perfectly, about a centimeter an hour.   I kept on thinking during this time, I am become a new dad, this is awesome!

Midnight came; a perfect time for Melissa to start pushing.  Melissa was a trooper and started pushing.  She pushed for about an hour with little progress.  When Melissa was opened up I could see brown hair.  I was getting excited but still there little progress.  They tried different positions like the squat bar.  Still, nothing and the pain got worse. She started to scream.  She pushed for another two hours in severe pain.  We were told later the epidural wore off because the needle in the back had moved.

The other doctor came in the room to check on Melissa after the hours of pushing.  She saw Melissa screaming and checked her out.  She said, this baby is not moving anywhere.  She gave her the choice of pushing and severe pain with no progress or get the baby out with a cesarean section.  Melissa really wanted a close to enough natural birth but knew she could not handle the pain.  She also knew I really wanted to see this amazing experience too and even asked me what she should do.  New dads, no matter what, this is her choice to make.  You see her in that much pain; tell her to go with what she wants.  The cesarean section was chosen.

The doctors brought her do the cesarean room to get her ready.  They had me get on the new dad doctor scrubs.  I thought that was really cool and felt like a member of Grey’s Anatomy.  Meanwhile, I could hear Melissa screaming down the hallways and all of a sudden, she was quiet.  During cesarean doctors must give anesthesia before hand.  This is what made Melissa quiet.  I could not hear this but she told the doctors thank you and she was sorry about the screaming.

After getting on the scrubs, I was walking down the hallway getting ready to see my future son born.  All of the sudden the with frantic looks on their faces some nurses stopped me and told me that I could not continue any further.  I was almost freaking out. I had no idea what was going on.  I guess the combination of the epidural and anesthesia made Melissa feel like she could not breathe and they had to put her all the way under.  This prevented me from going in the room because she needed a breathing tube down her throat.  Of course, I was bummed out but I wanted the best for Melissa and the baby.

About twenty minutes later, one of the nurses came into the room with my new son Rylan.  I was so happy to see him and so happy he was OK.  The sad part of it though was Melissa was still knocked out and she would be for another 30 to 50 minutes!

Everything I thought a birth would be did not happen. Becoming a new dad, I was excited to watch the future birth of our child and then cut the umbilical cord like.  I thought every dad got to do this.  Of course it did not happen this way or did I ever think it could happen the way it happened.  The biggest bummer was I did not get to share this moment with my wife until an hour later while she was still drugged up.  My parents and Melissa’s parents even got to find out the sex of the baby before Melissa did. That was really hard for the first few days.  At first, it even felt like Rylan wasn’t ours because neither of us saw him born.

Looking back at that 9 months later though, Rylan is the greatest joy in my life and he does feel like he is 100% my son. Everything happened perfectly until it was time to push and then things happened differently than expected. Being a new dad is the greatest.  Being a dad is the best job in the world.  From one new dad to another, be ready for the unexpected birth.  I wasn’t but I can roll with the punches.  The punches were well worth it.

More New Dads Stories can be found in the categories sections.