Funny Baby Picture - Baby Plumber's Crack Butt

Most guys show their butt crack whether they’re working on their cars or actually plumbing.  This is not on purpose and we usually do not think the plumber’s crack is showing.  I admit mine shows a lot especially with the jeans my wife makes me buy.  I might be picking up a toy or I may be doing some housework causing my butt crack to show.  It is the worst when my wife is walking by and she sticks her finger right on top of the crack.

I am the first to point out plumber’s crack.  I see plumber’s crack when I am at the grocery store and someone bends over to get the food off the bottom shelf.   I also see plumber’s crack when I am driving.  The immature dad in me does point it out.  I can’t help but laugh.

Before we had Rylan, I never saw my wife have plumber’s crack.  When she was pregnant, I started seeing butt crack.  I was the first to point it out.  I think that goes hand in hand with the new gas attack that pregnant women get.  It must let the excess gas out?  That plumber crack sometimes still shows sometimes when she bends over.

Funny Baby Picture - Baby Showing his Butt Crack

Now comes the baby plumbers crack.  We were getting the little boy ready for swimming.  He had his swim diaper on and his swim gear.  All of a sudden he started reaching for a toy.  And then, instead of hysteria of pointing out, “I see plumber’s crack,” it comes out from Rylan’s mom as, “Ohhh cute, his butt crack is showing!”

Only if I could get, “Ohhh cute, he has plumber’s crack,” from my wife instead of the finger on top of the crack.

Oh, the pride and joy of being a husband and a new dad.

Read Dad Blog Version:  Plumber cracks are hilarious.  My son had his first plumber’s crack today.  I had a good laugh.

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Now there is the blow fart.  The blow fart is when you blow on the other persons skin and it makes a farting noise.  Usually when it happens on the belly, the other person laughs in terror.  They go “Please stop, please stop.”  If you do it to a little one they may push your face away.  Well, my son Rylan is a little different.  He doesn’t move when I do it on his cheek.  He comes back for more and more and more.  He sometimes laughs and sometimes just sits there like in the video.  As parents, sometimes we can laugh at the little one’s thunder.

No wonder we like to fart, it is fun, and relieving and just plain feels good.  The worst things are holding it in and the smells.  Think of a time when you are at church or at a movie when someone lets a stinky fart, oh the dread!

New dads and moms, parents, get use to the farts that are loud, earth shaking and surprisingly not stinky.  Poops are a different story.  Most of all enjoy the blow farts.  You will be dealing with those and the real farts for the rest of your lives.

Dad Blog – New Dad: version:  baby farts are hilarious.  I never knew baby’s could rip it. The blow fart is a lot of fun.  It teaches the kid to enjoy the fart.

Your Dada Dresses You Funny

Tonight I did it again!

You have heard the phrase; “Your mamma dresses you funny.”  I think most cases though it should be this phrase; “Your dada dresses you funny.

This has happened to every dad.  You put on your kids clothes.  It takes 4 times longer than what your wife could do.  When you bring your child to see their mother in your pride stride that you just dressed your child you get the weird look and snide comment, “Those pants do not go with that shirt!”  Then they go change them.

Most nights I get my son Rylan ready for bed.  Almost every night I dress him with his PJ’s on correct.    His pants on and his shirt buttoned correctly.  They are not backwards or anything.  Sometimes, I do put his diaper on the wrong way so I have to lift his little bum up so the grips are the right way.  I always have to remember, Big Bird goes in front. Tonight I missed the top bottom on his shirts.  Who points it out?  The suffering misses, Melissa, of course.  I, obviously, did not see it.  There are reason for this dressing your kids funny.

Dads, or, maybe better yet, most guys sometimes have this problem of dressing funny.  You know wearing navy blue pants with a black shirt.  Or white socks with dress slacks.  I think almost every dad has done one of those.   If it weren’t for my wife, I still would be wearing white socks with dress slacks or pleated pants that are too big.  She has made me socially conscience of the way I dress.  The majority of guys are not metro sexual.  (I think Melissa sometimes tries to make me that way).

I think this idea of your dada dressing you funny starts as young boys. Think about the time you were 5.  We were always so excited to play cops and robbers then build houses from blocks and to top it off go destroy our GI Joes with a sling shot that we didn’t care what clothes we put on. We would be happy to go out in our underwear.  Our mother’s lost hope of dressing us with all of our energy.  They let us wear our navy blue shorts, black shirt and cowboy hat with cowboy boots when we went out the door.  We sure were not their little girls.

The reason your mamma does not dress you funny is because as girls that is what they did, they played dress up!  5-year-old girls wear their sparkling princes shoes with the matching pink dress, which also match the gloves.  Girls color coordinate!  Guys are not the best at that.

Dad Dressing His Son Funny

If women would see another woman wear navy blue with black or white socks with black shoes, it would gossip central.  If a guy would see that… Well, most guys wouldn’t see that.

Guys are different.  They dress for comfort and really do not care if they goof up on getting dress.  I missed a button tonight.  Not the worse thing in the world.  At least I did not let Rylan wear black and navy blue to a wedding, like I did once. As a dad, I will dress my kid funny.  Not on purpose, but, because I don’t know better.  Your dada will dress you funny.

Pictures not to take of your baby. Looking out for you Rylan and you little Butt!

There are also pictures where you were naked in the bathtub that shows up at wedding receptions, grooms dinners and graduation parties. My bathtub picture showed up at both my graduation party and grooms dinner. You have seen the celebrating parties get red in the face after seeing the famous little pee-pee shot (I guess if your lucky, a big pee-pee shot).

Melissa took a picture of Rylan naked on a blanket the other day, well, a few of them.  The picture below, I have blacked out to protect Rylan from future humiliation.  When he gets married though or has a serious girlfriend, it will come out for some good parenting fun.

To all my friends who have sent out naked baby pictures, this post is in good fun even though I have had made fun of you for it.  For my guy friends, I am sure your wife’s made you do it. There are many things you can make fun of me about, especially having a blog about being a dad.

After writing this blog entry of pictures never to take of your kids, I realized it had to do more with boys.  It is a good idea also never to dress your boys up in dresses or doll outfits.  It’s embarrassing to us dads.