Rylan Doing Something Other Than Peeing On Dad
It was bath night for Rylan, as it is every couple of days. Melissa usually gives baths to Rylan and she enjoys giving him baths. Tonight she wanted me to help for “moral support.” I know there was something else behind this. This “moral support” I gave her came at a price. The price was getting peed on. I have been peed on before but tonight was different.
Here is the story. I was handling customer service issues on the laptop. She asked me to come and help with Rylan’s bath. Melissa wanted some moral support even though she did not need me. I was happy to help. I put Rylan on his changing table and got him almost in the buck. All he had on was his diaper. I checked under his little bum to see if he pooped. I thought I dodged the bullet. Rylan had another bullet ready for me. I picked him up as Melissa just finished filling up the tub. I “daddy zoomed” him the bathroom excitingly saying, “bath time!” to him. I held him up facing at me with my hands holding him between his armpits as Melissa took off his diaper. As soon as the diaper came off, the pee stream came at me like the Bob peeing out the fire in Strange Brew. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!! I screamed like a little girl. I had a wet spot on me like I peed my pants. Unfortunately I was not smart enough to take a picture of this. And hopefully, I am smart enough not to let it happen again.
Should I be mad at Melissa for her having the nerve to tell her million friends on Facebook? I guess I was due for the fart comment in New Dad Enjoyment – The Blow Fart, from a couple of dad blogs ago.
New Dads, please take this as a suggestion. Never, ever take off the diaper with your baby facing at you, especially if you have a boy. It could make you scream like a girl. My excuse for facing Rylan at me is it was better than facing him at Melissa. It took one for the team. Lessons to learn from being a new parent.
Real Dad Blog version: I got peed on again. Thanks Rylan for peeing on dad! This time at bath time. I hope I learned my lesson, as I should have the other times.
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Oh, I remember getting shot with a stream of pee from my little boy when he was just an infant. I learned my lesson and took cover from that point on. We learn something every day with these little people in our midst, don’t we?