On October 15th 2008, Melissa and I were taking a walk under the full moon. One of my friends told her to do the Indian Moon Dance. It was supposed to get the baby going to be born. So, my pregnant wife, under the full moon, took 2 steps forward, skip 2 back, 2 to the right side and then walk in a circle (clock-wise). Yep, it was funny seeing a pregnant woman do that! Melissa wanted the baby out and would have done anything. I was getting excited to be a new dad so I wanted her to try it.
On October 16th, 2008, my wife told me she was feeling funny. We were getting ready to go to Buffalo Wild Wings for an afternoon lunch with the same friend that told her to do the moon dance. Melissa really wanted to go to Buffalo Wild Wings because it was spicy and she loves boneless wings. I was lucky because I had the day off of work and Melissa was home because she was not working at the time. The day was a Thursday.
After feeling a little funny, Melissa said we were “OK” to go. So, she got in the car and I was about to get in the car too. Then, she told me she wasn’t feeling the best and her stomach was tightening up. I called my friend and said that I do not think we can meet for lunch because Melissa is not feeling right. Melissa was disappointed because she really wanted wings. It is hard to keep a pregnant woman away from they really want! (A few months later we finally went to lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings)
I told her that she should count the time between her contractions. She started and then I took over keeping time. We counted the contractions. They were a little more than a minute and a half apart. We called the doctor and they told us to get to the hospital. Melissa and I grabbed our bags and left.
Everything was going as planned. Melissa was having the baby on my day off and it was the end of my soccer-coaching season. Perfect! She listened to my suggestion to have the baby when I wanted it! I couldn’t ask for a better wife.
We got to the hospital after every bump on the road felt like a death trap to Melissa. They told us to stay because she was having the baby. This was after the receptionist stated, you don’t think you are having the baby today do you? FYI.. Things not to say to a pregnant woman.
We got our own delivery room and Melissa, not able to handle pain very well, got the epidural right away. She was also progressing perfectly, about a centimeter an hour. I kept on thinking during this time, I am become a new dad, this is awesome!
Midnight came; a perfect time for Melissa to start pushing. Melissa was a trooper and started pushing. She pushed for about an hour with little progress. When Melissa was opened up I could see brown hair. I was getting excited but still there little progress. They tried different positions like the squat bar. Still, nothing and the pain got worse. She started to scream. She pushed for another two hours in severe pain. We were told later the epidural wore off because the needle in the back had moved.
The other doctor came in the room to check on Melissa after the hours of pushing. She saw Melissa screaming and checked her out. She said, this baby is not moving anywhere. She gave her the choice of pushing and severe pain with no progress or get the baby out with a cesarean section. Melissa really wanted a close to enough natural birth but knew she could not handle the pain. She also knew I really wanted to see this amazing experience too and even asked me what she should do. New dads, no matter what, this is her choice to make. You see her in that much pain; tell her to go with what she wants. The cesarean section was chosen.
The doctors brought her do the cesarean room to get her ready. They had me get on the new dad doctor scrubs. I thought that was really cool and felt like a member of Grey’s Anatomy. Meanwhile, I could hear Melissa screaming down the hallways and all of a sudden, she was quiet. During cesarean doctors must give anesthesia before hand. This is what made Melissa quiet. I could not hear this but she told the doctors thank you and she was sorry about the screaming.
After getting on the scrubs, I was walking down the hallway getting ready to see my future son born. All of the sudden the with frantic looks on their faces some nurses stopped me and told me that I could not continue any further. I was almost freaking out. I had no idea what was going on. I guess the combination of the epidural and anesthesia made Melissa feel like she could not breathe and they had to put her all the way under. This prevented me from going in the room because she needed a breathing tube down her throat. Of course, I was bummed out but I wanted the best for Melissa and the baby.
About twenty minutes later, one of the nurses came into the room with my new son Rylan. I was so happy to see him and so happy he was OK. The sad part of it though was Melissa was still knocked out and she would be for another 30 to 50 minutes!
Everything I thought a birth would be did not happen. Becoming a new dad, I was excited to watch the future birth of our child and then cut the umbilical cord like. I thought every dad got to do this. Of course it did not happen this way or did I ever think it could happen the way it happened. The biggest bummer was I did not get to share this moment with my wife until an hour later while she was still drugged up. My parents and Melissa’s parents even got to find out the sex of the baby before Melissa did. That was really hard for the first few days. At first, it even felt like Rylan wasn’t ours because neither of us saw him born.
Looking back at that 9 months later though, Rylan is the greatest joy in my life and he does feel like he is 100% my son. Everything happened perfectly until it was time to push and then things happened differently than expected. Being a new dad is the greatest. Being a dad is the best job in the world. From one new dad to another, be ready for the unexpected birth. I wasn’t but I can roll with the punches. The punches were well worth it.
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